The dislexical ramblings of our cousins across the pond

Some Americans sometimes have funny ways of saying seemingly English words, these funny ways can have consequences and breakdowns in communication are common place and would be more frequent if people didn't account for their 'ways'. Here is just a sample of a few of the current lexical quirks doing the rounds, most of these seem to centre on the apparent replacement of 'T' with 'D'. This list will also be helpful to guest houses and other institutions that deal with tourists who are expecting American visitors.

Just remember, they may not be asking for what they think.

Warder - The chief official in charge of a prison or a guard or porter of a gate or watch tower. Do not present them with a middle aged man with a inferiority complex, instead offer them a glass of H2O.

Bedder - No, not someone who 'beds' people, not an ornamental plant suitable for planting in a flower bed or a house keeper from one of the colleges of the University of Cambridge. Instead they are trying to convey to you that they require something greater in excellence or higher in quality.

Liddle - Again don't think they want you to present them with a versatile Scottish footballer who scored 229 goals for Liverpool FC and was never booked. They probably want something Small in size or Short in extent.

Oracle - Not an authoritative person who divines the future or a determiner that may indicate the specificity of reference to a noun phrase. No they mean article, as in 'newspaper oracle'.

Aerobic - Not living or active in the presence of Oxygen but relating to or characteristic of Arabs. "I'm learning aerobic"

That concludes episode one of 'The dislexical ramblings of our cousins across the pond', stay tuned for more of their amusing interpretations of English.