What? You've never heard of George Orwell? You must have come here by accident. Go back and sit in front of the TV with your big bag of crisps, you slack jawed idiot.
The whores at channel 4 continue to abuse Orwell's prophetic work in order to make themselves, Davina 'one string' McCall and some talentless member of the public rich, and for the latter 'famous'.
This year, 'Big Brother 9' (is that all it is,? It feels like it has been numbing minds for a lot longer than that. They will surely keep flogging this decaying horse corpse for another 50 or so years) has one contestant that caught my eye, or I should say that a sentence in a news article caught my eye. The 'actress' from Torfaen will remain nameless during this rant as I in no way want to contribute to giving these talentless, ambition-less, ego centric fucks any publicity.
She, who shall remain nameless, calls herself an actress and, as Davina McCall proudly pointed out, has been in twenty two, wait for it, commercials. Actress? Hello? She has as much right to call herself an actress as the background artistes in all of the UK's most loved soap operas do. But wait, she has been in a film, with Hugh Grant no less. Remember that smash hit 'Night train to Venice'? Maybe you know it by its American reissue title 'Night train to hell'? No, doesn't ring a bell? Maybe it's because it was made in 1993, before Hugh Grant had his big break a year later, and has since been confined to bargain bins all over the country ever since. Maybe you know her from the Italian smash hit 'Mr Dog', a film in which she plays second fiddle to a dog.
Still don't remember?
Maybe that's why channel 4 decided to list her as a trainee teacher and not an actress on her profile. Her biggest achievement seems to be have been completed when she was nine years old, talk of former glories, maybe she needs to do something to kick start her career and to make her famous. Hmm, I wonder what she could do that would make her an instant star in the eyes of the sycophantic and fickle British public?
Enter Big Brother.
Maybe I'm cynical (Ok I am definitely cynical) but these publicity hungry, self obsessed cretins make me sick to my fucking stomach. Maybe she will do the same for Cwmbran, Torfaen and Wales as that other fucking Idiot who went on Big Brother, Helen 'I love blinking, I do' Adams.
All I can hope for, for the sake of people who do watch this mindless drivel, is that a meteor strikes the house and the public don't have to be subjected to this absolute nonsense anymore.
And to anyone who is reading this and thinking 'But I like Big Brother?', fuck off and go and play with your kids, visit your parents, answer that email you've been putting off, read a book, clean the oven, re-grout the bathroom tiles, do something for someone, do something meaningful or just do something that will at least keep your tiny brain active and don't allow this mind rotting TV to slowly kill both of your remaining brain cells.
Finally this is a post about her, from one of her English students, on the channel 4 website, note the fantastic use of English.
Rant over...for now.